Last month, I wrote that leadership can be taught, learned and developed. This month, I want to discuss another of my beliefs: Good communication is the most important skill of a good leader. Within that realm, the most important quality is having the ability to be a good listener.
Poor listening places a definite strain on workplace relationships, which often leads to errors, spoiled work and dissatisfied customers. All of this can be costly, both in terms of rework and the potential for lost business.
It's important to develop good listening skills so we understand each other. The results ensure higher-quality work, strengthen customer loyalty and satisfaction, and build greater cooperation and teamwork.
This column is the first of a 2-part piece on communication. I'll provide solid tips to refine your listening skills. Next month, I'll address tips you can use to improve your speaking skills, so you can express yourself with more confidence. It's important to understand that a good listener makes the speaker feel respected and understood. The result makes a strong connection.
Here are tips I've learned:
* Focus your attention on the speaker. Eliminate distractions such as cell phones, and remove physical barriers between you (for example, a large desk). Take notes, if possible, because it reassures the speaker that you're taking his or her message seriously.
* Exercise patience and avoid jumping to conclusions. Don't make any assumptions. Instead, hold back and hear the message all the way through.
* Use your sense of sight as well as your sense of sound. Your eyes will pick up nonverbal clues such as tone of voice or body language, which invariably measures sincerity.
* Avoid offering advice too quickly. Sometimes, people just want to vent, so your advice may not be warranted or welcomed unless the speaker is truly seeking it.
* Remain continuously respectful and try not to judge. When you come across as respectful, you build confidence and trust.
* Use nonverbal signs to encourage the speaker to elaborate further. Nod, smile sincerely and maintain eye contact. Your look of sincerity is the key.
* Give your speaker verbal feedback to let them know you understand the main idea or message. Asking questions for clarification often reassures the speaker that you're trying to understand the message. It also keeps the speaker on topic, and he or she is more likely to express the message coherently.
We're often confronted with people who are selective listeners. They hear what they want to hear. Trying to understand what the message means shows empathy and builds respect. Without your sincerity, your words won't matter. You must take an interest in what the speaker has to say. This effort will focus your attention and force you to participate meaningfully.
Remember: You have two ears and one mouth. Remain patient and stay in control of your emotions. Next month, I'll elaborate on the positive aspects of speaking assertively to maximize productive communication. In the meantime, practice the tips in this column and watch as they improve your communication.
Jeff Long
is director of manufacturer Graphic Dimensions Inc.,
based in Atlanta, and president of DMIA.
